I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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