The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
