I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
