And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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