I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
