Michael Bay diarrhea
honey bunches of taint.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
