When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
