Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
