Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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