sarcasm needs its own font
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
