I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
