Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
