you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
