I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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