beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
