fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
