I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
