I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
