I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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