K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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