i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
