Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
