i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my being single is dangerous.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
