did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
