She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
