I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
