Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
