he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
