I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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