idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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