In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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