its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
