All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
