I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
