Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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