Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
