Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
