Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
