I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
