Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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