Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
zippers are such a cool invention
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
