Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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