Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
