I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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