Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
