Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
