Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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