He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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