...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
