oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
